Saturday, February 06, 2010

I Could Stand Some Clarity


I'm preaching in my field ed church tomorrow. Theoretically, anyway. The last time I had planned on preaching there, my husband's vacation illness kept us in Florida. (And the bills have started coming. Oh my . . . out-of-network charges . . . astronomical. I can't believe that we have to pay so much for a vacation that was essentially two days long and involved transportation by ambulance as well by kayak.) This time: the snowstorm.

I'm not thrilled with my sermon. Too many
shoulds and coulds and woulds pulling at me. Last week I received an email from a neighboring church in my home community asking whether I could fill in when their senior pastor is out of town at the end of the month. I can't, because of field ed, but -- wow. That's the first time that's happened.

Yesterday I poured out a stream of incoherent and unconnected thoughts and experiences to my spiritual director.
What does all this tell you that Jesus might be inviting you to? he asked.

Right. Yeah.
I have to get back to my own voice. My own self.

If I were in
tomorrow's text, what kind of fish would be plopped into my arms?

And what would I do with it once I had hold of it?

9 comments:

Purple said...

Well, I am looking at boats and cargo...so your fish is welcome.

Not sure this will post as computer issues are rampant in my technology world.

Mompriest said...

I have to admit when the title of this post popped up on my blog roll I almost started laughing, with hysteria....or was it empathy?

But, now having read it, I will pray for you, for the clarity you need to be in your voice. I usually take time to pray, then take a walk, then try to write again.

And sometimes nothing helps and I just resign myself to the sermon as is....sigh...

(off I go to pray for you)

Karen said...

Praying for you. The verse that came to mind: the harvest is plentiful, the workers are few. So many needs and opportunities, but just one little you.

Elaine Dent said...

I've been reading your blogs for several months and am appreciative and moved by your honesty. I have tomorrow off from preaching, but based on what you have written over the weeks, I would say the fish in your arms is a deep water fish, painfully honest and with a wider, deeper, more genuine experience than the ones in shallower waters. Whether Jesus has invited you or you have invited Jesus...your boat has moved out into deep water. You certainly have something God needs to be said, whether or not you know what it is. Maybe it will just be the fact that you show up that will speak the clearest about God's grace. Blessings.

Jan said...

GG, thank you for your support--and here I haven't been around much to encourage you. With your spirit and heart, I am sure you did well. Funny picture and title--I need the same thing--more clarity!

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

I hope the sermon went well. And I hope you begin to feel some of the clarity you seek.

Althea N. Agape said...

Were you able to preach? or did you get snowed out?

Word verification: SQUAWK
ROTFLMAO....

Did you get to squawk this morning?

artandsoul said...

Hope all went well yesterday.

Thinking of you.

Rosa said...

thought about you yesterday...