Saturday, February 06, 2010
I Could Stand Some Clarity
I'm preaching in my field ed church tomorrow. Theoretically, anyway. The last time I had planned on preaching there, my husband's vacation illness kept us in Florida. (And the bills have started coming. Oh my . . . out-of-network charges . . . astronomical. I can't believe that we have to pay so much for a vacation that was essentially two days long and involved transportation by ambulance as well by kayak.) This time: the snowstorm.
I'm not thrilled with my sermon. Too many shoulds and coulds and woulds pulling at me. Last week I received an email from a neighboring church in my home community asking whether I could fill in when their senior pastor is out of town at the end of the month. I can't, because of field ed, but -- wow. That's the first time that's happened.
Yesterday I poured out a stream of incoherent and unconnected thoughts and experiences to my spiritual director. What does all this tell you that Jesus might be inviting you to? he asked.
Right. Yeah. I have to get back to my own voice. My own self.
If I were in tomorrow's text, what kind of fish would be plopped into my arms?
And what would I do with it once I had hold of it?