Five Weird Things

I am so not weird. I am not average either. I am a consummately elegant woman. Well, ok, not so much. I am afraid, in fact, that my husband announced in the context of Christmas dinner preparation that I embody entropy at its epitome. Or something like that. All I can say, sadly, is that everyone else in the kitchen at the time seemed to agree.

Hey! I'm the one who got all those people here! And not one of them objected out loud to those flat cherry pies. (I realize that they had a good laugh at home, but I don't concern myself with such things. They have all made mistakes, too, and I know about most of them in gory detail.)

I realize that the entropy thing might be somewhat accurate, in that I cannot come up with five weird habits. I don't do that many things habitually that are weird. I am not organized enough to do weird things habitually. It's all I can manage to do NORMAL things, like brushing my teeth and showering, habitually. So I have changed the assignment a bit and herewith, in response to the tag from Red, are five weird things about me sort of in general:

1. I read all novels as follows: the first few pages, to get a sense of who and what the book is about; the last few pages, to ward off the anxiety created by my inability to tolerate suspense; and then pretty much every word from beginning to end.

2. However, if I get bored reading a book, I stop. So little time, so many books. I am usually reading five or six at a time, so I don't particularly notice the demise of any one of them. And I already know the ending anyway.

3. I went to two boarding schools, from when I was 12 to just before I turned 18. I don't think that's so weird because it is, after all, MY life, but other people seem surprised.

4. I watch All My Children once in awhile. Now that probably isn't so weird, as attested to by the fact that it has been on so long, but to me it's pretty weird. The summer I turned 17 I got mono, on my 17th birthday in fact. I had a mother's helper job on Cape Cod for two fulltime working parents, so they hired someone else to take care of their four kids AND me, and fed me and paid me for the next three weeks during which I had to stay in bed. I was of course completely humiliated by my plight, but that didn't stop me from embarrassing myself more by promptly becoming addicted to three soap operas. Two of them were cancelled quickly, but AMC rumbles on so, when I am home and really, really sick, I turn it on to ensure that Erica Kane continues to move through life unchanged. Hey -- talk about someone who embodies ENTROPY!

5. The only really weird thing about me is that I have no sense of smell. Nope, none, ever, nada. This makes me a useful person to have around the house when the entropy in which we all seem to be ensconced lends itself to litter boxes that need cleaning and dogs who need de-skunking. Of course, there has to be someone else around to NOTICE the litter box or the dog. (I am lying about the dog. Skunked dogs have a way of making themselves seen and heard -- and smelled, if you are not me.)

I'm afraid I am just not very weird. And now I have to tag other people. Well, none of them will, appreciate it at all, so I tag Lisa, Paul, Julie AND Judith, and Jackie.