Last night my dad left a message on my cell phone. He was camping on a ledge somewhere near the juncture of Colorado and Utah, watching the full moon rise over the mesa.It was just the call I needed, the reminder that this universe stretches far and wide beyond whatever engages us here.
A couple of months ago, as I sensed I was losing my footing amid too many competing desires and claims on my life, I asked my spiritual director, who balances an extraordinary stack of responsibilities, many of them of enormous significance to a variety of communities and institutions, how he maintains his equilibrium. "I just try to remember," he said, "that nothing I do is all that important."
He and my father are about the same age. I am often acutely conscious of my desire to absorb everything I can of the wisdom of their generation, beside which my own occasional grasp on human experience seems to float in unintelligible fragments.
Sometimes I just need to listen to my phone messages.
8 comments:
Lovely. Both your sense of understanding and perspective and appreciation of your father and that relationship.
When I got up at 6 a.m. to walk, I was marveling at that same moon and drinking in the calm it imparted on my stressful little world.
You don't know how much I needed to read this.
excellent.
i echo the above.
GG, this affirms what I've been hearing lately--take small steps, even be small. I'm glad you have your dad to leave you messages!
Wow! did your dad take this picture? It's wonderful. I never can seem to get decent pictures of the moon...
"Nothing I do is all that important..." I remember, after my sister died, I had that same perspective for awhile. No matter what happened, nobody died. It made life much easier. but I seem to have lost that perspective somewhere along the way, and I need to get back to that place. I hope I can do it without anyone dying...
No, my dad didn't take it -- I put in the link to credit whomever did.
I think growing up is realizing that "nothing I do is all that important". I can make a difference but in the larger scheme it is pretty insignificant.
I used to spend time trying to figure out why so and so didn't call me back or come over to say hello or whatever, mostly they aren't annoyed with me rather I have not even crossed their mind.
I wish I was watching the moon rise over the mesa. Nice that your father wanted to share that moment with you.
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