So. . . I've had these EPISODES over the past year. One of them took me to the ER, and all three left my bathroom looking like a war zone and me passed out for a day of R&R. For me to go to work, sink down into a chair and look around and say, "I can't do this today" -- I have to be really, really sick.
So I took the unprecedented step of making medical appointments.
How unprecedented? Well, this is my OB-GYN a few hours after The Lovely Daughter was born: "No, you cannot go home this morning. I know you can't stand it here, but you did just pass out cold. Why don't we make sure that you can remain conscious when you go to the bathroom before you try it at home?"
And the same gentleman on the phone a few years ago: "No, Gannet, OF COURSE you don't have to come in for an appointment, no matter what the nurse said. I would be DELIGHTED to write you an rx for a mammogram. I APPLAUD the fact that you are giving some attention to your health. And just so you know, it would not be a terrible idea for you to come in for a real live actual doctor's appointment. Anytime at all would be just fine. "
You get the idea.
However, I forced myself to overcome my distaste (I am trying to be restrained here) for all things medical and went off this morning to spend some time drinking disgusting chemicals and getting x-rays in Polar Cap Medical Building. Global warming has clearly failed to make an impact there. One of the technicians finally brought me a blanket and I spent my down time huddled underneath it in a corner, looking as if I were terminally hypothermic.
But here's the surprise: the x-rays themselves were WAY COOL. Really. The human body is such a masterpiece of creativity. It really was a jolt to see how intricately our insides are put together and how elegantly they function -- all of it out of sight and (usually) out of mind and taken completely for granted.
So far my particular insides look fine. And my appendix is extremely cute.