The planning for tomorrow's service for my grandmother has largely fallen into place. Although she belonged - I think - to the Methodist church, her real friendships and ties over the past several decades have been with the nuns in a nearby convent and the college they support. So her service will be in the convent chapel, with Sister Dear Friend presiding and she and I delivering the eulogies. We will be a small group, in part due to my grandmother's having outlived everyone else she knew in her own generation, and in part due to my father's inexplicable determination to conclude everything on Thursday rather than Friday. Complicated timing for many people who are only just getting back to work after an extended holiday.
The real complications emerge, however, from the fact that my father has been married four times, divorced once and widowed otherwise. The children from his third marriage will be there, as one might expect and even hope -- my grandmother was theirs as well. One of them is my father's stepchild, one is his step and adopted child, and one is his child with his third wife. All of them did basically all their growing up next door to my grandmother.
Now, it seems, their mother will be there as well.
From what I see, some people are thinking peace and reconciliation. And others are not.
Sigh.
The real complications emerge, however, from the fact that my father has been married four times, divorced once and widowed otherwise. The children from his third marriage will be there, as one might expect and even hope -- my grandmother was theirs as well. One of them is my father's stepchild, one is his step and adopted child, and one is his child with his third wife. All of them did basically all their growing up next door to my grandmother.
Now, it seems, their mother will be there as well.
From what I see, some people are thinking peace and reconciliation. And others are not.
Sigh.
8 comments:
Reconciliation or not, I hope that you and your other family members are able to find common ground in honoring and remembering such a wonderful woman and that the coming days bring you comfort in recognizing the role she played in so many peoples lives.
Well, Carol's comment was just about perfect. Somehow, I know your eulogy will move all toward peace.
P. S. 370 gannets were counted on First Encounter Beach (Wellfleet) on the day she passed away.
Your grandmother was a wise and wonderful woman with much grace and style. I hope those whose lives she touched will behave in a manner that would make her proud.
Thoughts, prayers, and much love to all of you.
Funerals can be emotionally trying times for everyone. My hope for your family is that they will put aside their differences out of respect for your grandmother. If not, it sounds like some limit setting may be necessary. Prayers and best wishes to you.
hopefully everyone just puts on their big girl panties and makes it through. I would hope so.
So sorry for your loss, but it sounds like a nice service.
I'll be praying for all of you. Funerals can bring out the worst in people. I know that you'll do an excellent job with the eulogy.
A memorial service for a wonderful woman is NOT the place to start throwing around dirty laundry. I trust the parties involved will understand this and act accordingly.
Keeping my fingers crossed for you...
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