Maybe I closed my Desert Year blog a week too soon . . .
Christmas services this morning and tonight at my field ed church, both with dramatic presentations by children . . .
Going to a UCC blue Christmas service tomorrow night with Musical Friend . . .
Two services at my field ed church Christmas Eve . . .
And then with, amazingly, Gregarious Son as company, a midnight service somewhere . . .
And then at 6:00 am on Christmas morning, a flight south.
I wish this week of the Incarnation were not so terribly, terribly difficult. I wish I lived in a remote monastery where it might be a week of solemnity and quiet joy.
Twenty-six years ago we learned right after Christmas that I was pregnant -- a month later, that there were two babies. I looked at the ultrasound pictures earlier this week. It is not hard at all to remember the exhilaration we felt, but it is hard to know now what it would someday lead to.
Two of my nieces have just learned that they are expecting babies in August.
Mixed feelings swirling around.
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12 comments:
{{{{{GG}}}}}}
Wishing you strength, grace, and a little peace for the week ahead.
You are in my thoughts. I hope you find some moments of peace this week and that the flight south on Christmas leads to touchstone moments near the ocean.
That is a BUSY week, and a lot of emotions, mixed together. I pray that you will find that "in a monastery" feeling, wherever you are, a moment at a time, and that joy will be your primary feeling.
I have spent today making Christmas biscuits and remembering my son who committed suicide 13 years ago. It has become my Christmas ritual and helps me even now to find some peace at this time of year. Then idly blog hopping I find yours.
My heart goes out to you and tonight you'll be in my prayers. May God be present to you and your family this Christmas.
{{{{{{Gabriele}}}}}}
leading worship while in pain and sorrow is both a grace and a huge challenge...prayers for you, especially this week.
MP, you have offered me a thought that has never occurred to me before. Do you suppose it indicates trust on the part of God, to invite you do something that, basically, you cannot do?
Gannet Girl: Perhaps you are familiar with Edward Farley, a Presbyterian theologian who taught at Vanderbilt in the 80's & 90's. He talked a lot about images and how images mediate our intentions to and for the world. The image of a monastery with the space for solemnity and quiet joy is beautiful for this season and such a lovely invition to keep company with God. Thank you.
(((((GG)))))
I read your last line and smiled. For one who has fought off stoicism a life of mixed emotions is seen as a blessing... it is what I strive for. yesterday one of the five who were gathered talked about the strength it takes to venture forth into each day knowing our plans are only that, our plans. Finally it was down to two of the five, and with that friend I talked about our week here at home waiting to hear results. and what I know is true... sooner or later we are going to hear news which we don't want to hear. I am hoping for later.
peace be with you this week.
GG - As I was writing out Christmas Cards yesterday I thought of you, and your encouragement to write to those who have lost a child -- and so I did. It was truly a spiritual exercise, and one of deep grounding in God's presence.
Thank you for the encouragement you offer from your place of pain and loss. I think it speaks to what you ask about God's trust in us, and our trust in God.
It makes me think of the limits of our vision and what exists beyond that which we can "see."
Peace.
Cindy
Love to you.
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