I came home and said to The Lovely Daughter that I am pretty much not believing it these days. I just think he will come home.
"Total denial," she said. You know, those stages of grief don't happen in sequence."
"I know that," I said. "Denial seems like a high-functioning place though. I spend most of my time there. I'm not angry too often anymore, and I can tell when I'm in acceptance, because then I just cry, because I get it."
"I've pretty much given up on bargaining. It didn't seem to work," I said.
"Mom, that is SUCH a denial statement," she responded.
"You have to know you're in denial when you talk about bargaining not working as if it might have. Only a person in total denial could think that there is anything plausible about bargaining."
I love my daughter so much. A couple of nights ago we were watching something ~ I have no idea what ~ on tv and one of the characters vocalized a long litany of recent disasters in her life.
"Do you remember what it was like when a statement like that was just dialogue on a tv show?" she asked.